In Brief: NFL Rivalries

I'll address my pre-season NFL picks next week, when all the results are in. They're looking okay so far, but that's what happens when you pick chalk in the NFL. As for this weekend:

The talk in town is all about Sunday night, as it should be, since Cowboys-Redskins is by far the most interesting match up in Week 17. I can't tell you how much I threw up just typing that sentence (hint: my monitor is visible, but streaky). See, there is a persistent belief among Redskins fans that the Cowboys-Redskins rivalry is special. It's not. The Redskins have exactly the same relationship with the Cowboys that the Eagles and Giants do. And what the fanbases of the NFC East frequently forget is that everyone hates the Cowboys. You could move them to any division tomorrow and they'd be the most hated team in that division by the end of the week. This is a testament to the instant, reliable unlikability of the franchise, its players, its fans, its continually fawning media coverage, and its ownership (an ownership that remains only marginally more detestable than Redskins owner Dan Snyder). Anyway, I, like the rest of the nation, am calling for a Redskins win. Let's say, 24-13.

Turning to a better the best rivalry, I want to get this on the record: as a Bears fan, I'm not thinking of it as cheering for the Packers. Rather, I'm cheering for the Vikings to shit the bed, something precedent should bare out. But, mostly, it spares me the cognitive dissonance of having to cheer for State Farm reps, giving their spoiled, nothing-else-to-live-for fans the satisfaction of being a booster for their over-saturated, nationally beloved franchise that, historically speaking, does nothing more than win a lot while playing in an anomalously small market in which every citizen is literally invested in the team, forcing you to wonder if your large market, underperforming, one or two amazing years in the Super Bowl Era franchise isn't actually the bad guy of the division.

No. No, it's Packers fans who are wrong.