Fremdschämen (first recognized in German dictionaries in 2009) is the feeling one gets from being crushingly embarrassed for someone else. The state of experiencing fremdschämen is simply "fremdscham," without the cool yet mildly annoying umlaut.
Fremdschämen, I hope you'll agree, is at least as useful a concept as schadenfreude. Whole friendships are built on navigating through and around fremdscham-wracked moments. A chunk of modern day child-rearing is geared toward avoiding fremdscham. Fremdscham is the reason The Office worked. To feel fremdscham is to be embarrassed not by someone else, but for them, indicating that some degree of empathy is necessary. Fremdschämen, then, is a perfect complement to schadenfreude because experiencing it tells us that we are not sociopaths.
Having mentioned embarrassment and sociopathy, it may finally be time for me to turn to Donald Trump. Alright, here's the deal: I don't want to talk about Trump. One of the benefits of my semi-voluntary hiatus was not having to think about the campaign this deeply. I had plans to do some other things with this blog in the next few months--pleasant things. But there's a short-fingered gorilla in the room and, with him addressed, I'll be able to move on. So hold your nose with me, reader, we're going in.
Trump, a poorly-carved Jack o' Lantern that's been left to rot since October, gets most of his press these days for remarks that have been construed as offensive. And racist. And misogynistic. And incoherent. And untethered from reality. And these are all valid observations worth examining. But there's another aspect of the way he expresses himself that I would like to address.
You may have seen the great video about Trump's use of language that first made the rounds a few months back, although that had more to do with his sentence construction. What I'd like to explore isn't new for Trump. Consider his longstanding nickname: "The Donald." It's just his name with "the" in front of it. It's simple, it demonstrates way too much self-regard, and it's profoundly stupid if you spend any time thinking about it. And he was just allowed to do it. Anyway, I fear that his stranger communicative habits have been lost in the more recent (and, again, valid) concerns over the substance of his campaign rhetoric. This is worth exploring because I believe that these tendencies are indicative of a deeply-troubled mind and we need to dissect it before we unleash it on the world in a presidential capacity.
Tweets, short as they are, are not be the best metric for a person's perspicacity. However, this is Trump's most prolific medium (never mind that a real billionaire shouldn't spend so much time on Twitter) and provides a more direct path to his brainwaves than anything else available to us. So let's dive in.
A little weird, right? Now, I don't know a lot about IQ tests (I refuse to take them because no result I could get would ever make me happy). But I do know that Trump's IQ does not appear to be a matter of public record. Here's The Mirror speculating on Trump's IQ based on where he went to school (weak, I know, but it's the best we have) and coming out to a decent estimated score. But even they hedge their bets and conclude that his IQ is "far from genius level."
So unless Trump wants to release his IQ test results (along with his school records and his tax returns while we're at it), we're just going to have to infer his intelligence based on his actions. Like his 2006 assertion that the mid-aughts were a "great time to start a mortgage company." Or the time that he brought his mistress along on a family vacation. Or the time that he addressed the fact that his campaign is a tire fire, hemorrhaging staff:
We must allow that Trump is at least addressing his hilarious campaign problems. That's refreshing in its own way, right? Hillary Clinton would certainly never acknowledge such problems (she'd never have to). It takes a brave man to acknowledge his short-comings. Not that Trump has any of course. Just ask him--he can do anything.
No they didn't. Okay, maybe a couple of people on his payroll told him that. After he asked them. What could even prompt this very specific ambition that he'll never pursue? Why would Agent Orange even want to host Meet the Press? One possible answer: Trump-coverage would generally become more positive. After all, by November, he'll probably be out of credentialed media to tail him, so Donald Trump's Meet the Trump, Presented by Donald J. Trump, Classy™would be a good way to keep the free publicity train on the tracks. By the way, we all understand that what Trump really wants is his own media empire, right? It's pretty clear when you think about it.
Lambasting the media, in addition to providing red meat for the marks, helps bolster Trump's insistence that the media is hostile toward him. Truth is, the media hates Trump like a fat kid hates cake. I could say that he's just too easily offended, but somebody already put that criticism to him and Trump replied in Strong Bad-esque fashion: "I don't have thin skin... I have very strong and thick skin."
This assertion from a man who still occasionally mails photographic evidence of the adequateness of his finger-length to Graydon Carter, original coiner of "short-fingered vulgarian." Twenty-five years after Carter first anointed him with the title! Short-fingered or not (he is), that's a damn long time to hold a damn weird grudge. And this guy may possess nuclear codes come January. The lack of both self-awareness and of the very meaning of the words he tosses about so cavalierly (whether orally or digitally) should be enough to prompt fremdscham in any decent person with a bare minimum of compassion.
Who the hell talks like this?! Apparently, no superlative cannot be applied to him (by himself), however irrelevant to the conversation at hand. I truly don't know if this is about burnishing his brand--the brash, self-aggrandizing patter that I find gross but, to his credit, has probably made him what he is today (alternate take: maybe all of his successful business deals are a result of the other party getting sick of listening to him and just giving him whatever he wants to make him go away). And maybe that's just been translated in to the what we're seeing now: this ham-fisted (small hams, obvs) manner of selling himself and his campaign.
Or maybe this is just the way he talks to people in every day situations: "I didn't fart in the elevator, okay? But if I had, you would have loved it. I have the best farts, the best-smelling farts. People tell me I do and I believe them."
In the proper spirit of fremdschämen, maybe you aren't able to feel embarrassment for Trump. I don't blame you. But whatever happens in November, Trump is a reflection of a part of us now. A considerable chunk of America has voted for him. Many more will do so in November, if only to avoid voting for Clinton. Even if he loses, history will forever record that he won electoral votes. And that "if" is necessary because, in a two-party system, events beyond the control of either candidate could easily slip Trump past Clinton just in time for a horrifying election night.
I know it was funny at first. We had all gleefully anticipated the schadenfreude we'd experience when he had to tuck and run before the primaries were even over. But now we're looking down the barrel of a self-fremdscham. And I'm not even sure if there's a word for that. Get to work, Germans.
Trump, a poorly-carved Jack o' Lantern that's been left to rot since October, gets most of his press these days for remarks that have been construed as offensive. And racist. And misogynistic. And incoherent. And untethered from reality. And these are all valid observations worth examining. But there's another aspect of the way he expresses himself that I would like to address.
You may have seen the great video about Trump's use of language that first made the rounds a few months back, although that had more to do with his sentence construction. What I'd like to explore isn't new for Trump. Consider his longstanding nickname: "The Donald." It's just his name with "the" in front of it. It's simple, it demonstrates way too much self-regard, and it's profoundly stupid if you spend any time thinking about it. And he was just allowed to do it. Anyway, I fear that his stranger communicative habits have been lost in the more recent (and, again, valid) concerns over the substance of his campaign rhetoric. This is worth exploring because I believe that these tendencies are indicative of a deeply-troubled mind and we need to dissect it before we unleash it on the world in a presidential capacity.
Tweets, short as they are, are not be the best metric for a person's perspicacity. However, this is Trump's most prolific medium (never mind that a real billionaire shouldn't spend so much time on Twitter) and provides a more direct path to his brainwaves than anything else available to us. So let's dive in.
Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure,it's not your fault— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 9, 2013
A little weird, right? Now, I don't know a lot about IQ tests (I refuse to take them because no result I could get would ever make me happy). But I do know that Trump's IQ does not appear to be a matter of public record. Here's The Mirror speculating on Trump's IQ based on where he went to school (weak, I know, but it's the best we have) and coming out to a decent estimated score. But even they hedge their bets and conclude that his IQ is "far from genius level."
So unless Trump wants to release his IQ test results (along with his school records and his tax returns while we're at it), we're just going to have to infer his intelligence based on his actions. Like his 2006 assertion that the mid-aughts were a "great time to start a mortgage company." Or the time that he brought his mistress along on a family vacation. Or the time that he addressed the fact that his campaign is a tire fire, hemorrhaging staff:
I am getting bad marks from certain pundits because I have a small campaign staff. But small is good, flexible, save money and number one!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 6, 2016
We must allow that Trump is at least addressing his hilarious campaign problems. That's refreshing in its own way, right? Hillary Clinton would certainly never acknowledge such problems (she'd never have to). It takes a brave man to acknowledge his short-comings. Not that Trump has any of course. Just ask him--he can do anything.
So many people have told me that I should host Meet the Press and replace the moron who is on now. Just too busy, especially next 10 years!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 27, 2015
No they didn't. Okay, maybe a couple of people on his payroll told him that. After he asked them. What could even prompt this very specific ambition that he'll never pursue? Why would Agent Orange even want to host Meet the Press? One possible answer: Trump-coverage would generally become more positive. After all, by November, he'll probably be out of credentialed media to tail him, so Donald Trump's Meet the Trump, Presented by Donald J. Trump, Classy™would be a good way to keep the free publicity train on the tracks. By the way, we all understand that what Trump really wants is his own media empire, right? It's pretty clear when you think about it.
Lambasting the media, in addition to providing red meat for the marks, helps bolster Trump's insistence that the media is hostile toward him. Truth is, the media hates Trump like a fat kid hates cake. I could say that he's just too easily offended, but somebody already put that criticism to him and Trump replied in Strong Bad-esque fashion: "I don't have thin skin... I have very strong and thick skin."
 |
| Weird boasts. Questionable claims to money/strength/power/good taste. A connection to professional wrestling. Okay, look, I worked really hard on a "Trump is Strong Bad" post and it didn't pan out. Let me have this analogy. |
This assertion from a man who still occasionally mails photographic evidence of the adequateness of his finger-length to Graydon Carter, original coiner of "short-fingered vulgarian." Twenty-five years after Carter first anointed him with the title! Short-fingered or not (he is), that's a damn long time to hold a damn weird grudge. And this guy may possess nuclear codes come January. The lack of both self-awareness and of the very meaning of the words he tosses about so cavalierly (whether orally or digitally) should be enough to prompt fremdscham in any decent person with a bare minimum of compassion.
I know some of you may think l'm tough and harsh but actually I'm a very compassionate person (with a very high IQ) with strong common sense— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 21, 2013
Who the hell talks like this?! Apparently, no superlative cannot be applied to him (by himself), however irrelevant to the conversation at hand. I truly don't know if this is about burnishing his brand--the brash, self-aggrandizing patter that I find gross but, to his credit, has probably made him what he is today (alternate take: maybe all of his successful business deals are a result of the other party getting sick of listening to him and just giving him whatever he wants to make him go away). And maybe that's just been translated in to the what we're seeing now: this ham-fisted (small hams, obvs) manner of selling himself and his campaign.
Or maybe this is just the way he talks to people in every day situations: "I didn't fart in the elevator, okay? But if I had, you would have loved it. I have the best farts, the best-smelling farts. People tell me I do and I believe them."
In the proper spirit of fremdschämen, maybe you aren't able to feel embarrassment for Trump. I don't blame you. But whatever happens in November, Trump is a reflection of a part of us now. A considerable chunk of America has voted for him. Many more will do so in November, if only to avoid voting for Clinton. Even if he loses, history will forever record that he won electoral votes. And that "if" is necessary because, in a two-party system, events beyond the control of either candidate could easily slip Trump past Clinton just in time for a horrifying election night.
I know it was funny at first. We had all gleefully anticipated the schadenfreude we'd experience when he had to tuck and run before the primaries were even over. But now we're looking down the barrel of a self-fremdscham. And I'm not even sure if there's a word for that. Get to work, Germans.
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